Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Isolation


Check my phone for the billionth time – really it’s only 1:32pm there’s still 5 hours to go. I’m covered in spit, snot and sweat and none of it my own, my legs are full of scratches and there’s rice stuck in my hair. As I put my phone down there’s a little face staring up at me smiling, well now he’s crying cause he slipped on his little book and face planted into the carpet. “It’s okay sweetie, mumma’s got you” – now I can add tears to the list of today’s fluids on me (the wee came later in the night).

So much energy in such a little package – no energy left inside the mumma package. I adore and cherish this little munchkin and love him to bits, but some days I just don’t want to adult anymore. I want to sleep in (well try as sleep escapes me – the kid sleeps better than I), focus on a task for longer than 30 seconds, I want someone to talk to me about anything and everything not just ask me how the baby is going and then walk away.

I love being a mumma and I cherish every moment with my little Star Boy however I was never prepared for the isolation that comes with it. All day alone, no breaks, no communication with the outside world, trapped like a rat in a maze. The struggles are hard: try communicating with the outside and you’re shut down, ignored, told to be grateful and suck it up. I know there’s nothing that can be said to make it all better but a listening ear can make you feel less alone and at least heard.

We cannot function as a sole unit and we need community to survive so why do we except parents to do it alone, why do we offer up “support” in forms of “just deal with it”, “oh get over it all children are like that”, “be grateful for what you have after all you struggled to get this one” (that’s the one that hurts the most especially coming from family). Ok I know we cannot fix the problem as yes all kids have their “jerk” moments where you are just so over it all you want to do is tie them to the chair and let them watch Thomas the Tank Engine all day. Most of us know you cannot say anything that will make it easier as parenting is a tough job and words cannot magically take away the struggle so why don’t we instead just be a friend and listen or talk about other things happening in the world that doesn’t involve the child. It’s actually nice to have other conversations.

Words cannot save us alone only connection can.

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Tuesday, 7 February 2017

The tryhards guide to being eco – clothes


Welcome back to part three of my tryhards eco guide - today we will be tackling the topic of clothes.

Clothes – we all wear them and we all need them, they keep us descent, warm and cool. They talk and tell the world who we are and what our personalities are like without us having to open our mouths. But clothes also make a big impact and dent on the environment and the people who make them (plus our credit cards).

Today in our fast fashion world we have new styles and trend every few weeks, we have shops where you buy a shirt today and it’s replaced by something new next month. Yes that bargain $10 special you’ve got it awesome and you’re going to wear it all the time but will you really when there will always be another sale and another bargain to be had out there?

What went into making that item? Was the maker fairly treated, did they get a fair wage? Was the environment affected in anyway? How much water was used in the production method? What chemicals were used? Cotton is one of the most chemically treated plants out there.

But we all need clothes and we all have budgets, so what are we to do? We need to shop smart. Here are some of tricks I use: 

Shop secondhand

I love me a good op-shop, it’s amazing what you can find there. My best purchase was a pair of vintage Dolce and Gabbana sunnies for only $25 with a tag still on them – so never worn. This is a great way of recycling as most of us don’t ever wear clothes till they are falling apart anymore so you can find new items still with tags on. Even if they have been worn you can get some stains out with a good soak and easily sew on a new button or fix a ripped seam. Always have a look as there’s always a hidden gem somewhere. Also if your friends wear the same size clothes as you, do a clothes swap or check out Round She Goes markets as well.

Upcycle

Upcycle what you already own – if you are bored with some of your current clothes cut them up and create them into something new and one of a kind (which is always a nice feeling). Pinterest is an upcyclers heaven filled with so many wonderful ideas.

Sales

If you don’t have a very big budget to buy organic or more environmentally friendly clothes watch out for sales. Blessed Earth is always having different sales on and you get a great bargain on something that you need. I got a pair of organic yoga pants for only $8 once.

Need verses Want

Really look at what you need as you’ll realise you don’t really need all that much clothing as you think you do. We are so programmed to want and want and want that we forget we only need so little.

Baptist World Aid

If you need certain clothing and you cannot find it secondhand or on sale at environmentally friendly place in your budget check out Baptist World Aid Behind the Barcode for stores that are trying to do a little better by the planet and the workers.

Shop your wardrobe

You’ll be surprised how many outfits you can get out of your wardrobe already just using a little bit of imagination. Instagram is full of so many different style challenges and you’ll start looking at your wardrobe so differently and start pairing up items you never would have thought about in the first place. I love partaking in these challenges most months and it’s really helped me see my clothes from a different perspective.

Go without

This one sounds drastic but it’s not really, most of the time you don’t really need that extra pair of shoes when you already have 20 others in the wardrobe. It goes back to need verses want, you only need so little to get by in life and yes it’s nice to have new things and there’s nothing wrong with that but really think before you buy and most of the time you don’t really need to buy.

Do you have any tips to share on how you shop for clothes? 

Our next part of the series I’ll be covering how to be eco with children. 

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Wednesday, 18 January 2017

Hold onto life


This post is in partnership with YouthSuicide

Suicide – most people don’t want to mention it, let alone talk about it but did you know that there are over 70,000 suicide attempts every year in Australia alone and out of those attempts nearly 2,500 succeed, leaving behind hurting friends and family.

It’s not easy to admit that you are feeling suicidal as there’s such a stigma surrounding it – “oh you’re so self-centred, there are so many people worse off than you, just get over it”. The depression that you feel when you are suicidal is so intense and so draining that you just want the pain in your head, heart and body to just stop and you feel like you are doing your friends and family are service by leaving them.

Between 2003 – 2005 I couldn’t count the amount of attempts I took to end my life, my depression and anxiety were so overwhelming it took all my energy just to keep going. It was crippling, voices telling me I wasn’t worth the space on this earth and after years of bullying at school and being personally violated, it all just built up too much and crash tackled me to the floor. I ended up having to leave my job at a medical centre after I tried to take the out-of-date medication.

It was hard to find help as I believed that there was something wrong with me and didn’t want to be judged by anyone. Friends looked the other way pretending everything was going fine and at home I struggled to get anyone to understand how I was feeling, my mum did try to help by suggesting finding a psychologist to talk to. It’s easy to feel alone and the Internet wasn’t what it’s like today with access to helpful resources like YouthSuicide where you can be directed to helpful tools, carelines and websites (wish I had this back then).

My boyfriend (now husband) told me one day that “life is hard, it goes up and it goes down but you are here for a reason and you can hold on.” By finding a great psychologist, herbal medication and working bloody hard on personal development I did hold on. I do still have moments of darkness (thankfully no more suicidal thoughts) but I know I can hold on and know there is more to life than this moment, it’s worth the fight and it can be done.

Life isn’t always easy but it’s such a beautiful mess that it’s worth holding on to – so please hold on to it, you’re worth it.

If you are struggling please reach out and get help – YouthSuicide is one place to start.

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Monday, 16 January 2017

Post Holiday Blues


Today my husband went back to work after a lovely 3 weeks off over the Christmas/New Year period. It was wonderful having him around and getting to spend time together as a little family of 3. We didn't go away or anything just stayed around home and did a few little adventures here and there. I loved having the company during the day and that extra pair of hands with Star Boy.

Well it's now back to normal routine and I've got the post holiday blues (it's an actual thing - Google it) and I've got them bad. I do enjoy spending time with my son but it does get really lonely all day by myself and sometimes quite trying when Star Boy is having a difficult moment (like teething at present - poor kid).

I know my husband has to go back to work as how else do we live as we need money to survive. I'll get over it but for now I feel blah and I'm just going to sit with that while Star Boy plays on the floor in just a nappy and t-shirt as I cannot be bothered to fight pants onto him - it's hard enough to fight a nappy onto him let alone pants.

How do you survive the post-holiday blues? Got any tips?

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Friday, 30 December 2016

Follow the Light in 2017


Another year over and a new one just beginning. 2016 was the year of "Be a Beginner" and I certainly learnt many lessons on being a beginner.

Becoming a mum to Star Boy was the biggest life changing experience in the universe, my entire life was flipped upside down, shaken about and tossed around pretty much on a daily basis. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's been a crazy ride but it's the best one.

I've learnt so much about myself and what I am capable of achieving. I made plenty of mistakes and took a few knocks, but I got back up, dusted off and tried again. Being a beginner is hard but it takes so much pressure off as being a beginner you aren't meant to know it all so it's makes it okay when it doesn't go to plan.

I'm going to continue with this theme always but for 2017 I want something new.

"Follow what lights me up" - I follow my calling by following what lights me up 

I often get caught up with what I think I should be following or pursuing and not paying attention to what actually lights me up. I discovered this year I like reading non-fiction and there's nothing wrong with that, I don't have to like stories, I can like what I like.

I want to do more of this, what interests me, not what interests others, my passions not others passions, my dreams not others dreams.

Follow what lights me up without a reason or an end goal insight, just for the sake of it. There doesn't need to be a motive behind all that I do, do it for the joy that it brings.

So 2017 bring on the LIGHT!

What's your theme for this year?

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