Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Missing in Action and Cumquat Cordial

I do return, it's been awhile since my last post and it's been killing me that I haven't had a chance to sit down at the computer and type away. Missing in Action can be fun but can also be stressful, mine's been a bit of both.

So many things have been happening, we bought a new car on Sunday (which is exciting) but it's been a stress and a half organising finance, trying to make sure we can make the repayments and get the right interest rates blah blah blah - what a headache. Also today at work some of us got show a new computer system that will decrease the amount of images that need to be processed by us what they didn't tell us but we all realised is - if there is less images to process then you'll need less people to process them, so we're all unsure what's going to happen next and cause we are all temps they don't need to give us notice of leave. Plus MJ's Nan had a really bad panic attack today, which worried us all - poor thing.

Anyway on a brighter note, I had a lovely day out on Saturday with a good friend to Luna Park (a post will follow), I've tried some new and different recipes (more to follow). But I will share one with you today.

The other week I was in our local fruit shop and for only a $1.50 there was a carton of Cumquats (also spelt Kumquat), they are this sour little citrus fruits and I thought what the heck I'll make something out of that. Now I didn't want to make a jam so I hit up Google (where would we be without it) and found a lovely little recipe for Cumquat cordial syrup (click here for the recipe).

It was so simple and easy to make, took no time at all and tastes wonderful. I was worried it was going to be too sweet from the sugar but with just a little bit in the bottom of a glass and the rest water, it's the perfect balance. Plus it made up quite a bit too, 2 full bottles worth, that's going to last us awhile.

All blitzed up

Sugar syrup almost ready

2 bottles of syrup 

End product

Saturday, 3 August 2013

Be Determined!!!

A tear fell down her cheek, she wasn’t really sure why she was crying she just felt so alone and so full of fear, so sad. She feels selfish as she has such a lovely family, a loving husband, her health and a roof over her head, what does she have to be sad about? Selfish girl, well that’s what one counsellor told her, just like the other one laughed at her when she said she had voices inside her head. Attempts to end it were made but never successful. She’s scared not knowing who to turn to or who will help her. Most people would just say the feeling will pass don’t worry about it, but she had felt like this since she was a little girl. Always picked on, always bullied, punched, teased for being poor, teased for being different, always rejected by peers. She left school early to get away from it but it still followed her through work life, church life, so called friends etc. She trusted no one, kept her guard up, even when a beautiful boy fell in love with her and she with him, she still was careful just in case he too rejected her. Herbal medication helped a little, at least the voices left her alone, but she couldn’t use them forever due to other medications she was on. The silent battle continued, not many understood. Now many years later she’s back on herbal medication and feeling a little relief and coping a little bit better thanks to understand counsellor (finally). She has her good days and really bad days still but she just keeps going as I am one determined bitch to beat this.

Depressions sucks (literally), it sucks the life right out of you, it sucks pleasure, sucks energy, it just plain sucks. What sucks even more, it’s becoming far too common in our society now, mental health is one of the biggest expenses and worries in our country and world today, but it is still very misunderstood. Depression isn’t just people feeling sad about something (yes that can be one thing but that usually doesn’t last long) depression is the feeling of worthlessness and such pits of despair that you can’t see the light. Everything is an effort and you feel no motivation to do anything at all as it just too much.

There is help out there, you just need to muster up a little effort to find out. I’ve been to plenty of counsellors and lots of them were useless and just made things worse but I finally found a good one in Suzie and she’s fantastic, I love her and what she’s done for me, even if it’s only a listen ear while I carry on about something or nothing all at once. I’ve just started back on St John’s Wort and I’m noticing a little difference, I’m coping a little easier with things and even getting out of bad days a little quicker too. It’s still there though sitting there waiting for me but I won’t let it win and neither should you. You’re better than you think you are, you are awesome, you wouldn’t have been put on this earth if you weren’t awesome. We are all here for a reason and I want to find out mine.

I hope my story has helped shed some light on this dark world of depression and maybe helped someone out there. You can do it too, be a determined bitch too.

Image from here