Saturday, 7 March 2015

Just listen

My beautiful friend is having troubles in life at the moment and she’s turned to me for support. Straight away I went into rescue mode – How can I fix this for her? How can I take the pain away? What can I say to make her feel better?

My ever wise husband said to me: “What help would you want if you were her?”

I replied: “Someone to listen to me”

Listening is such an easy thing to do, yet all of us are guilty of not listening enough. We want to help, fix, take away, we don’t allow for time, feelings, process because we want to have a solution now and move on, we don’t want to wait.

Last year when I went through my own troubles all I wanted was someone to just listen to me, sit with me while I grieved, hold my hand, I didn’t want words, I wanted to be heard, without judgement, without solution.

We need to be careful when we speak and make the right judgement because a misplaced word at the wrong time can cause only more pain, which I really learnt last year, people that meant well and loved me said what sounded like the cruellest things in those tender moments.

As the saying goes we have 2 ears and 1 mouth so listen twice as much as you speak. So next time someone comes to you with a problem – listen – you'll be surprised what you might hear.

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