Saturday, 4 April 2015

A Moment of Silence

Back in February I got sick with a virus and I ended up having to take a sick day; which a big thing for me as I hate taking days off work even more so because being a temp you don’t work you don’t get paid. But I was so dizzy that day I couldn't drive so I was ordered back to bed by my husband and then proceeded to spend the rest of the day in bed.

I'm not one that likes to be confined to the bed or the couch all day as I like to be doing things but I just couldn't do anything as I was so dizzy except lay in bed. This day of silence and stillness forced me to stop and made me realise that there were some emotions I wasn't dealing with. Emotions I was pushing aside and burying deep down hoping they wouldn't surface, well surface that day they did. They didn't just surface they exploded and poured out but you know what, it felt great to finally acknowledge them and express them and they weren't as scary as I thought they were going to be.

I have a bit of bad habit of pushing my emotions and feelings aside and burying them deep down only for them to come back to bite me another day. I don’t like sitting with my emotions and processing them, I want to get them over with and move on. I learnt a lesson that day, I need to sit and feel my emotions no matter what they are or how hard they feel, pushing them away doesn't take them away, and if anything it makes them stronger and harder down the track.

Emotions can be hard thing to deal with and they can seem scary and uncontrollable and we all like to have control, I know I certainly do like to have control over myself. But sometimes we need to let down those walls of control and realise we are only human and it's okay to feel. 

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