I struggle with confidence, I like to do things perfect straight away, up front. Well this just doesn't happen in life and I've given up doing so many things throughout my life just because I couldn't get it right first time.
This is a trait I've been trying to challenge over the past 2 years and even more so this year as I'm sick of missing out on moments, lessons and achievements just because I'm not ‘perfect’. This weekend I had a real breakthrough moment, I was so proud of myself.
My lovely friend Lynda from Homelea Lass asked for volunteers to test out her draft crochet pattern of a lovely blanket she’s designed. I love crocheted things and it's a skill I would really like to possess. So this weekend past I decided to give it a go. I know some basic crochet stitches but I'm still very much a beginner.
Well the crocheting was a series of errors, undoing, redoing, undoing, redoing, missing stitches, misunderstanding instructions and still after 6 hours not getting it right and only ending up with 4 rows done completely wrong. But the best part was every time I made a mistake or had to start again, I just laughed – something I wouldn't have done last year. I kept saying to myself “you’re learning, you’re a beginner, each row redone it another row learnt”, and it was all true, I was learning, I am a beginner and each row was practice. One day I do hope to be at least half as good as Lynda but I have to remember Lynda was a beginner once too.
We seem to do that, we forget that we have to start as a beginner before we can become a pro. We always want to skip the beginner part and be pro straight up. We struggle with the process of going from one to the other. The journey between those 2 points can be tough, annoying and long but they can also be fun as you push yourself to achieve something you've never done before. We can’t always excel first time (maybe the odd fluke), it all takes time, patience, practice and effort. In the end sheer determination will pay off.