Thursday, 30 July 2015

Emotional Support


I’ve crashed and burned. I’ve lost all energy. I’ve given and helped too much.

There’s 2 people in my life that I love to bits that are both requiring emotional support and extra love right now. I’ve tried to be there in whatever capacity that I can but my body has decided enough is enough.

I love helping people, trying to help them through life and doing whatever is necessary to achieve that. But after crashing out for the 3rd time this year and having to rebuild strength each time, I’ve realised I can’t keep doing what I’m doing. I’m giving so much of my energy to others that I’ve left none for my husband or myself. Something has to change.

Last week I spent 4 days immobile, all I could do was watch telly and sleep, for a person who likes to move around this was tough. Over the 4 days I got to do a lot of thinking and processing. I came to the conclusion that these 2 beautiful people needed emotional support that I’m not equipped with. Doesn’t mean that I can’t give them emotional support it’s just the real support they need I’m unable to supply. I’m busting myself and running my health ragged doing a job I’m unable or equipped to do.

So what does this mean for them? Does it mean I give up on them?

No it doesn’t mean that at all, if anything it’s shown me that I can be there for them and help them but what they fully require someone else needs to do. It frees me up to know that I’m helping them only the way I can and I can’t be their full help. It shows them how they can rely on me and what I’m able to help with and then frees them up to search for the other missing pieces. By me trying to be all the pieces for them doesn’t help them at all, it makes them stagnant, it doesn’t help them move forward in life. I can only be part of the solution, part of the puzzle, part of their life, I can’t be the whole solution, the whole puzzle or the whole part. I’m part of the journey not the destination. I was taking some of their power away from them by trying to be the whole of everything and by doing so was taking all the power out of me.

It’s amazing what you learn when you’re hit to the ground. I can still be their friend and continue to help them along their journey but I can’t do it for them or give them everything they require. They need to find others or something else that can do what I cannot.

Do you support others too much sometimes? How do you balance it out? 

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