Saturday, 23 January 2016

You'll always disappoint someone

I hate disappointing people and being unreliable, I like people to know that I'm there for them and I'll always show up. Lately since being pregnant I've been finding it harder and harder to be there for people the way I use to be. I've been sick, tired, unwell and just plain don't have the energy to be able to be who I was beforehand. This has really been getting me down and frustrating the heck out of me. So last week I spoke to my psychologist Suzie about it and gave me the most interesting insight:

"You'll always disappoint someone"

I'd never thought of it like that. Suzie went on to say: "you'll always disappoint someone no matter what you do. You'll disappoint them or yourself or your husband, no matter what choice you make, someone will be disappointed. The more you know that and learn to sit with that knowledge the less guilty you'll feel."

I feel terribly guilty when I disappoint someone, as it's not nice to trouble someone else. But I've started to realise that by pushing myself and my body to be there and do everything for everyone, I'm actually disappointing myself as I'm not giving myself the time that I need and I'm disappointing my husband MJ because I'm giving everyone else the time and energy and have none left for him.

Yes I don't want to become selfish and disappoint people for the sake of it of course. I need to keep working on healthy boundaries and realise that someone is always going to be disappointed with my life choices and I cannot let the guilt of that rule my life.

How do you feel about disappointing people? Do you struggle with guilt? What boundaries do you have?

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