Friday, 19 February 2016

You're more resilient than you think!

"You're more resilient that you give yourself credit for"

I've never heard anyone say that to me before until last week and it really got me thinking.

How do you become resilient?

Not sure about you but most days I don't feel very resilient, in the moments I feel like I'm drowning, struggling to stay standing and buckling under the pressure. Do you ever feel that way?

Then some how you look back and realise you did make it through, you got to the other side and you are still standing and you are still breathing. That's resilience. That's showing up each day and keeping on keeping on. That's what is meant by resilience, you wake up every morning and do the best you can with the resources at your disposable and then go to bed every night hoping you've done your best and you tried your hardest, then you get up the next day and do it all over again.

Then months or years down the track you look back over your life and your moments/experiences and realise you are stronger because of them. You have become more capable to handle moments then you were back then, you're still not sure how you did it but you did. You are strong, you are courageous, you are capable, you are magical, you are amazing.

I'm telling you today you are resilient - you are powerful - you are everything and more. It's might be hard to believe, I sure as heck know how hard it is to believe but you have the capacity to do it. Yes the moments will be tough and you will feel like you are breaking but you won't break, you'll stand up again and you will create some magic.

I believe in you!!!!  

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Saturday, 6 February 2016

Book Review - Quiet by Susan Cain

"Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain

What a fascinating read!

It talks about the differences between introverts and extroverts, how we actually need both qualities throughout the population but how we focus too much on one spectrum - the extrovert.

The extroverts in our society are levelled up and are consider the ideal persona, while in a lot of cases the introvert is made out to be less than, anti-social, shy or not the ideal. It's just that people have different styles and approach matters at different speeds and angles. There's nothing wrong with that at all but society only wants one style, one approach - the extrovert style.

Our business world is set up this way - open plan offices, consistent teamwork and collaboration, the loudest get noticed more. Our schools even - group work majority of the time, group desk, constant participation required, the quiet get left behind.

Introverts are living in a world that tells them there's something wrong and negative with them, made to feel inadequate cause they work differently to others.

My report cards said the same thing my whole school life "hard-working but shy and needs to talk more". At home if I didn't want to talk, my mum would ask me "what's wrong?" or at social gatherings I was called rude for not speaking up. It's not that I didn't like people or the event or anything like that I just enjoyed observing more than participating. I've always believed there was something wrong with me that needed fixing and I would try to act and be different but it just didn't fit well. Over the last few years I've started to accept this quality of mine and have felt happier and more myself in the process.

Quiet helped me understand that's there nothing inherently wrong with being an introvert and nothing wrong with be an extrovert, we need both sides to make the coin. Yes I do need to draw on extra strength when I have/need to do extroverted things/projects but that's just how I function.

Susan delves into both the scientific and physiological research behind introversion/extroversion which is both numerous and fascinating. I found the fact that people can actually be thin/thick skinned and thin skinned can be more sensitive to circumstances, which explains why I sweat so much when I'm nervous in an uncomfortable situation even if I appear to look conformable. Also introversion/ extroversion is a trait we are born with, yes personality, nature, nurture, free will, environment and society can all influence it to a degree, but it's built with in us from day dot.

It's always good to work on extrovert skills but it's also good to honour yourself and recharge when you need to. We cannot force people to change or fit our mould but we can work on adapting and accepting each other and ourselves. Approach each person as they are, to use an analogy some people are like slow cookers and take their time to warm up to situations whereas others are like microwaves and warm up in a flash. We need both types and we need to respect and honour both, neither one is better as we need both to make the world go round.

This post isn't sponsored or anything, I just wanted to share my thoughts.

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Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Pregnancy Meltdown

I'm just going to call it was it is - a meltdown!! There were tears, sobs and struggling to make sentences. It wasn't pretty but it happened and it was honest.

Truth be told I'm struggling being pregnant, I don't particularly like the process - there I said it out loud. I love that I'm having a baby and really want this baby with all my heart. I just don't like or enjoy the process that's required to get said baby.

What I'm struggling with the most and what caused my epic (as MJ called it) meltdown is the extra weight. I'm currently carrying about an extra 8kgs to what I was pre-pregnancy and I feel huge. I know technically I'm not huge but the extra weight feels so heavy, so awkward and just plain yuck. I use to be this weight a long time ago but it was spread all over my body not centred in one location.

I'm finding it difficult to not only carry but thoughts are playing up in my head (don't you just love how the mind works - not) about how big am I going to get? how are you going to cope? you're struggling now so what will you be like in a few months? I'm so scared about how big I will get in the future (I'm currently 30 weeks) as I've been continuously told by so many people that you stack on weight in the last 2 months.

As much as you try to ignore what other people say, it really does get you down sometimes. After hearing how big you've gotten for the 10th time at work in a day and having a few of those people say it 2-3 times to you in that same day, it really just tires you out. I know others are just excited and what to be part of the journey etc and it's not personal but what I've discovered is people don't quite understand what they are saying or doing. They think they're being nice and are meaning well by it all but don't realise the words can really get under the skin and stay there, becoming all itchy.

My darling husband in the midst of my tears and sob placed his hands on my belly and told me: "you'll be okay, it's not fat, it's our baby, it's only for a little bit of time not forever, you will go back down again". Gosh I love that boy, he helps me through so much even when he doesn't quite understand what's wrong.

I know I'll get through this and I'm sure with more moments but I cannot wait to meet this little blessing that's kicking around inside, the countdown is on - April 8th isn't that far away now.

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