Tuesday, 5 April 2016

Reflections


It's a gorgeous sunny blue sky autumn day today, I'm sitting in our back room with a breeze blowing while I'm typing away on the laptop. It's a prefect day for reflecting and enjoying the moment.

I'm currently 39 weeks pregnant so pretty much any day now we'll have a lovely little bundle to cuddle and love and call our own.

The past 9 months have been an up and down journey. Filled with much sickness, stresses, pressures, anxieties, confusion, breakthroughs, courage, love and power. I've had to face fears head on, challenge the norm and realise truths I never thought were there. I have now got a better understanding of myself and always of those around me.

Facing truths of changing people and others that don't want the world to change. Separating my issues from others issues, realising I'm not who I thought I was and I'm better than I thought I could be. The world has pushed, pulled, shoved and knocked me about. My heart and mind has done the same. It's easy to pin the blame on others and throw up your hands and say "it's all your fault" but truth be told we are in charge of our mind and heart and we can make the change, we can break the chain.

Breaking the chain as been a common theme as I come to terms with long lost memories, truths and hidden issues. I am a new generation that can take and learn from the old but doesn't have to repeat the same patterns from the old generation, I am the break in the chain. The old patterns that didn't work are being set free and the discovering of the new patterns is both highly scary but exciting nonetheless.

This little bubba that hasn't even breathed a breath of air yet has already taught us so many about ourselves, where we need to bend and where we need to break. We've been drawn closer together in love, support and comfort, we are there for each other in ways we never were before. Our faith in God has grown stronger as we've fought and embraced this road together. We are a united force.

As we wait in patience for B day to arrive I continue to breath in the love of this bubba, the love of God and the love of my husband everyday. It's a strange feeling waiting for the day as you never know when it might be but thank you bubba for all that you have taught me so far and all you are differentially going to teach me in the future.

Photo my own

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4 comments:

  1. The journey you're on is a beautiful one CJ and your reflections of it have brought a tear to my eye. To be able to break yourself open and be willing to see where you can change and improve takes a lot of courage and you've done it.

    I hope that bubba's arrival goes well. So much love to you all!

    With love, Lynda.

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    1. Hi Lynda,

      Thank you for your lovely comment, it's means so much. That's sweet of you.

      Love CJ

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  2. Beautiful words CJ! I wish you all the best for the upcoming arrival of your little bundle of joy! You are going to be a great Mum! Look forward to seeing the first pics!

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    1. Thanks for your kind words Charlene. Fingers crossed it's this weekend and then I'll be flooding my Instagram with baby spam :)

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